Oooh La La Lashes

I don't normally share my opinions about cosmetics and beauty products because I don't try a ton of new and exciting items on a regular basis. I stick with what I know works for me and I'm quite loyal to what I know and love. The exception being, it seems, things to do with eyelashes. The only other post I've written in this area was about my  beloved Fresh Supernova Mascara (still my favourite). Yesterday I ventured into an area of beauty products I hadn't been acquainted with since I was a baggy-pants blue-haired raver kid: FAKE EYELASHES!!

I wore these ones to a wedding

I have to say, when you aren't going for an over-the-top look that will be visible in a dark warehouse lit only by lazer lights, picking out falsies is a tad intimidating. I don't want to look ridiculous, just glamourous. So I went to the best place I knew to seek out my lashes - Sephora (seriously, what did us Ottawans do before this store opened here??).

There were about 5 or 6 different styles and it was really tough to figure out how they would look. To be honest, they all seemed to kind of lean towards the 'ridiculous' rather than 'glamourous'. For $10 a pair, I chose two of the most natural I could find, which to me, still looked over the top. Not so. Once I got them on and grew used to the look on me, I was in love!! Now I know why Eva Longoria is rarely seen without them. OMG instant Oooh La La!


A lot has changed since the last time I wore fake lashes. The glue for example, seems more forgiving and overall less 'stingy' and 'burny' when put on the sensitive skin of the eye. And it doesn't smell like crazy glue which is nice. Also, it's black. At first this freaked me out - I had visions of smeared black glue and a ruined make up job that I had no time to reapply. It turned out, the black glue is not only invisible on the black lash line, but it looks like liquid eyeliner! LOVE THAT. I especially love that because liquid eyeliner is not something I've been brave enough to try. Now that I see how it would look on me, you can bet you'll find a post about my favourite liquid liner here soon!

The true test came when my kids saw me with the lashes on and couldn't tell I was wearing them. I had to let them examine my eyes to believe that they were fake. 'Nough said. I'm sold. I just hope I don't rip out my real lashes in the process of using these falsies. Anyone with pointers on removal and reuse? Post your comments here please!

DIY kit to create your own look. I will attempt this next!

                             

Things I love...When the Restoration Hardware catalogue arrives

Imagine morning coffee and laptop in those chairs SIGH!

Today I was greeted by Restoration Hardware's annual catalogue - a tome weighing about 5 lbs. It amazes me how much it must cost to put this gorgeous book together. The shipping alone must be astronomical. It is beautiful however, even though the pages resemble castles rather than real homes. This time though, included was a great little booklet - little being the key word. It was titled "Big Style, Small Spaces". Not only was it demure in size compared to its counterpart, it featured smaller furniture in grandly styled rooms yet of a more quaint scale. The booklet was divided into residential themes - one of my absolute favourite techniques to display various decorating styles and eras.

Cigar leather: naptime

Themes such as Chelsea Penthouse and Paris Pied-à-Terre were pretty typical of RH's styling of its furniture spreads: industrial chic and understated glamour of old France. What I found surprising were gems like Napa Farmhouse and West Hollywood Apartment. Oooh, how my eyes flitted from theme to theme. It was a really fun take on their collections - not to mention the scale and pricing were both more reasonable for the average sized room in the real world.

Of course, the large catalogue did not disappoint. Broken-in leather collections that make me want to crawl into the pages and curl up. Beautiful art deco foggy glass tables in the Strand Collection look like mercury glass, are begging to hold a Martini glass or two. The shimmering Victorian Hotel Pendant is the cherry on top of the vision I have of my dream dressing room. Too heavy to prop on my chest to read in bed, this will find its place on my coffee table. Maybe, considering the gorgeous photography and furniture, it is meant to be displayed that way afterall.

Foodie wars: diet books with bite

Wow, it's been a while since I've been on here and I've missed it. July has blown past and here we are in what has been one of the hottest summers I can remember. There have been a few Tweets I've shared in the past week, and of them, foodie books seemed to be the central theme. Perhaps it's because the effects of a week of indulgence and sitting around at the cottage have caught up to me, but diets, dieting and weight loss are always hot topics.

The first book I'm going to mention is one that is stirring up quite a controversy and once I reveal the title, that will come as no surprise. It's called "Six Weeks To OMG: Get Skinnier Than All Your Friends."

Seriously. I can't make this up, folks. If this sounds like something only teen girls would say, you have hit the nail of controversy square on the head. Who else could this be speaking to? The author, Venice A. Fulton, defends this saying the use of OMG is not intended to make his book appeal to young women. however, professionals are worried about the message this sends not only to young women but also about weight loss in general. The unconventional diet is based upon the use of the body's existing stores of fat in the morning, followed by no snacking and lots of caffeine the rest of the day (I'm simplifying for the sake of brevity). There is also a cold bath to kickstart your metabolism in the morning. Ick.

The kicker for me though was this article in a U.K. newspaper with case studies of people who went on this diet. Sure, there are convincing before and after photos of these people, and good on 'em for finally getting motivated to change their habits but for me, it was the before and after meal journals of a typical day that I found most compelling. I hate to break it to them but as soon as they have reached their target weight, the TERRIBLE dietary habits will creep back in. I mean, really people, crisps (chips) as your 'side' for lunch?? Chips (fries) and gravy?? Three or four pints, three or four nights per week?? And this is a typical day? Seriously.

I personally don't think their results have anything to do with the diet's ridiculous requirements as much as the drastic reduction in their caloric intake of these people each day. The 'after' diet plans are such a stark contrast to their 'before' diets - that is the real reason they lost weight and I'm sorry to say, eating less is not something new to dieting.

Moving on....

The other book I read about also deals with losing weight but the approach could not be more opposite if it tried. This one is called Culinary Intelligence: The art of eating healthy (and really well) by Peter Kaminsky, a professional foodie and writer. After facing health issues, he decided to change his habits, not his career. When faced with tasting and reviewing wonderful food around the world, he approached every eating so that every calorie counted both towards his waistline and the dining experience, savouring every single bite. This takes time of course, and when we are rushed, distracted or multitasking, not only are we more likely to eat more, we are less likely to enjoy what we do eat just because we aren't taking the time to really be in the moment and enjoy the experience. Isn't that something we should apply to more areas of our life too?

My love affair with halloumi cheese

Mmm...look at those gorgeous grill marks!

If you’ve never tasted halloumi cheese, you don’t know what you are missing. My life became just a little bit richer the day I tasted this cheese. Eaten warm, it is pure heaven when grilled to a golden brown and crispy in some parts, ooey and soft in others. The flavour of this unripened brine cheese combines with the heat to create a symphony of perfection on the palate, like tasting only the best parts of a grilled cheese sandwich: buttery, cheesy, crispy, warm. This cheese is soft and mild yet has a salty character, and is dense enough with a high melting point so halloumi is perfect on the grill. I sometimes cube it and put it on a skewer with fast-cooking meat (leaving it on too long will melt it too much so you want the rest of the skewered food to cook at the same rate) or just sliced about 1/2 inch thick, and placed on a heated, oiled grill. The texture reminds me of firm tofu, while the salty mild  flavour is reminiscent of feta. I’ve seen it served on top of a salad for a lovely summer meal, but personally I haven’t gotten farther than serving it on a the plate that I bring it in on from the bbq; it’s just too good and goes fast. My family goes crazy for it; I am barely able to be seated at the table by the time it’s almost all gone, let alone explain that it’s supposed to go on top of the other food (they do leave a piece for me because they know better than to deny the chef).

If you haven’t tried this savoury treat, you are in luck because halloumi cheese is increasingly easy to find in your average supermarket. The first kind I tried was President’s Choice brand which has been delish. I just recently bought a different brand that’s waiting to be devoured. Will report back on that one soon. Yum.

Want some food for thought? Enter 'halloumi cheese' into Google and take a look at the images search results. Be prepared to drool a little. 

A new chapter: the end to clutter chaos

So I've had it. I'm so done with looking anywhere and everywhere in my house and seeing nothing but clutter and things without homes strewn on nearly every surface. This is not making me happy, in fact, at times, it makes me feel like an elephant is crushing my chest. TOO MUCH STUFF!!! as the Robert Munsch book says.

Anyone who has ever set foot in my house can attest to the fact that rather than show it off with pride, I apologize for the [perpetually] messy state it's in, almost to an annoying degree. I begrudgingly give tours showcasing my incomplete projects (yes, I will paint that last wall....1 year later), and ultimately lack of organization, which I seem to have passed along to my kids. Sure, it's expected that a house where there is someone at home at least 99% of the time, with two kids and a dog and cat, will look lived in but what I see in some corners, like my dining room currently, is more like something in a style I like to call "frat house chic": cases of empty beer bottles and an extra mattress leaning up against the wall. Niiicce. Might I add that this week I had the pleasure of meeting my older daughter's boy-who-is-her-friend's mother when she came over to pick her up for a movie. She followed me into the house (GASP!!!) and I could barely hear what she was saying for my head was spinning with the thoughts of what she must think of the place!

I chalk it up to two things: a lack of organization and my inability to throw things away! As a keen recycler since I was a child, it pains me with guilt to throw things out - a breakthrough realization that I recently became aware of - but as my husband says, "Some things are just garbage, Nancy." And with that, the light bulb of realization went on and so did my commitment to clean up our act.

So with that, I'm launching a summer series of posts. In reality I know it is not something that will be completed over the summer months alone. Cleaning up 5 years of living in a house + a lifetime of bad clutter-causing habits will surely take more than 10 weeks, however, it's a fun and lighthearted approach to what could be a very daunting project.

My first step, and really the methodology for the project will be to go room by room, identifying those trouble spots that seem to be natural dumping grounds for stuff (Clutter Corners as I like to call them) and really look at why this is the case. For example, is it because the things that get dumped there have no other home? Is it because we don't know what to do with them or don't want to be ruthless and throw them out? Looking at the psychological reasons these Clutter Corners happen will be key to figuring out solutions.

I will do this room by room and then revisit the list to implement solutions for each problem. Then once that is done, go project by project (for me, starting very small so I don't get overwhelmed and leave things half finished is key) and implement the solutions. Some projects will be tiny and will take no time at all. Others might take longer but I'll make sure that I am not biting off more than I can chew.

I hope you'll check in every once in a while to see how it's going. I hope to provide before and after photos, sources for products and instructions for DIY projects, of which there will be many! My ultimate goal is to create a calming and comfortable space where our family can live and function more efficiently. Who am I kidding - I really just want to give house tours without embarrassment!

Father's Day home stretch: What your guy REALLY wants

As the weekend approaches, the world of consumerism is focusing on the next occasion to separate consumers from their money. Father's Day is on Sunday and all week I've noticed the never ending pleas in commercials and flyers to 'Get Dad what he really wants' or 'Treat dad this Father's Day' with this, that and the other. These phrases are often found on flyers for things dad would never, ever want, like, oh, a new patio set. Or that new polo shirt. Heck, even Pottery Barn was offering a free crafting event for Father's Day. The only thing I have to say regarding that one is I hope the intention was to offer a way to get the fam out of the house so dad can have time -gasp- alone!

And this brings me to the point of this post. If you really want to give your man, the father of your children, a fabulous Father's Day, I have a no-fail way to deliver. It consists of two things and two things only. The first is time alone. After the cute kid cards and coffee in bed (and at a decently-late hour I might add), what dad really wants is a day to himself with nothing to do and no one to interrupt this nothingness. Now, don't be offended. Think of Mother's Day. We like to be pampered. We like to be adored. Then we like to be left alone. The same goes for dad. He doesn't want at picnic at the park with the family. Or dinner at your in-laws, no matter if his favourite meal is in the cards or not. No, he wants time to be without the pitter patter of kids and animals and absence of the honey-do list that normally hangs on the fridge, and all in the silence of an empty house.

The second thing that will make your man's day is something that is hopefully part of your life anyways, but if not, it'll really blow his socks off. I'm talking about sex. Yes, those three little letters can carry a huge amount of happiness. That is really what he wants. And not the rushed quickie kind or with a feeling of obligation. A really honest-to-goodness fun time with fewer time constraints than usual if possible, and a genuine interest in making him feel supa dupa. Afterall, he is the man you chose to father those gorgeous little gems of children, so isn't he worth the time and effort? And with that, I throw to this blog post which I really think says it all, and very well: Give a guy some nookie.

Happy Father's Day!

Party decorations aren't just for parties!

It's hard not to smile when you walk into a room decorated for a party, especially with colourful streamers and banners hanging overhead. So why not use these items in everyday decorating to as a bit of whimsy to a child's bedroom or playroom? It's an easy way to brighten a room and add another layer to your room theme or colour scheme. 

Gimme a P! Gimme an O! Gimme an M! What does that spell?
One half of pom pom! 

Pom poms aren't just for cheerleaders anymore. Thanks to the queen of entertaining herself, Martha Stewart has revitalized paper party decorations, reinterpreting the typical honeycomb-style decorations of the 70s and 80s into a classy and delicate pom pom. You can buy them in a package in coordinated palette of colours and sizes, or DIY-it and make your own. Either way, they add charm and fun to a room.

Simply hang a few (I like to use an odd number starting with no less than 5) and stagger the height at which they hang (see photo, above). Usually a push-pin is strong enough to keep them in place in the ceiling. Step back to view your arrangement as you go, making sure to space them out enough so that each pom pom is visible from the vantage point that they'll be most viewed from.

 This seller's page on Etsy shows an array of colours and styles, and uses not only solid colours, but patterned tissue paper as well (see photo at left). Adorable!

 Tip: you can also make your own by snipping folded sheets of tissue paper into strips, cutting from each edge towards the centre, but leaving the middle of the paper intact. Cut the edges so that you cut off any of the folded edges, then with a ribbon, bunch up the centre that isn't cut, and tie. You might have to play around with the density of tissue to get the right size and shape, but this is a great way to use pretty tissue that may have come in a gift bag but is too crumpled to reuse for wrapping.

Pennant-style banners

Another look I love is pennant banners made from scraps of patterned paper or fabric. It's a nice way to use up pieces from sewing projects or display pretty scrap book paper or wrapping paper. Here is a DIY tutorial for making your own banner like the one pictured on the right.

If you don't want to sew a pennant, its just as easy to use hem tape and an iron to attach the triangle pieces to your ribbon.

 

Pattern to illustrate cutting a paper pennant

If using paper, fold the paper in half to cut out the triangle (like making a heart out of a folded piece of paper). This will give you a diamond shape when unfolded and allow you to have the pattern on both sides of your pennant which is ideal for hanging across a room where it will be viewed on both sides. Paste the triangle to the ribbon by sandwiching it in between the two layers at the fold.

Pennant hung across a room

 Alternately, here is another blog DIY tutorial from Artsy Fartsy Shopaholic. She shows another no-sew method to creating a pennant banner. The nice thing is all you need is a hole punch and string!

Garland

Pom poms can be turned into garland too, as can many other items, such as circular stickers, fabric strips and paper shapes. The photo below is a collage of various ideas for creating garlands. Click through to view the original post on Kojo Designs. The blog includes links to a tutorial for these garlands.

 My personal favourite is the photo in the centre. It's made from pieces of linen fabric, folded, cut and tied to make tassels. This is great because left over fabric can be used. I can see this in a baby's room because of how delicate and soft it looks.

Have fun with these ideas and keep an eye out for inspiration in the party isle. Even if you don't make your own, decor kits such as Martha Stewart's party favours are sold at Michael's and Wal Mart and are a great and easy way to add a bit of whimsy to a room, so have fun!

Ice cream fondant cake

This is the most recent cake that I made and decorated. It was for a cake raffle fundraiser for the kids' school and I really look forward to this event every year. My inspiration came from a lovely cake I found on Pinterest. I made the two layers using this fantastic recipe (I will have to make a cake of our own to enjoy - my taste test consisted of the paper-thin layer I sliced off the top to even up the layers). I also used the ever-indespensible Duff's White Buttercream Fondant. Yes, it's pre-made but it works so well and a butter flavouring adds, well...flavour! It's available at Michael's craft store (and really affordable if you use their weekly 40% off coupon!).

Before: Here is the two-layer cake with Duff Goldman's Buttercream Fondant

After: Ta-da! Here's the finished product!

It was a lot of fun to put this together. Everyone chipped in too. My husband saved my sanity at 2 a.m. by coming in and making the little white pearls/beads that sit around the base. By that time I had limited patience to make them as uniformly perfect as he did!

Bead trim at base of cake makes the edge seamless.

 My oldest daughter helped model some of the treats, also made from fondant coloured with gel food colouring by Wilton. I bought a combo pack of 12 colours from Bulk Barn for around $20 - a great investment because I can make virtually any colour I need now by blending the different shades.

Here's a closer look at the details:

Swirly pops, straws cut to size for the sticks.

Chocolate bonbon - all fondant.

Mock sugared-citrus slices

And the crowning glory is a "melting" ice cream cone with sprinkles. This treat isn't entirely faked. The cone is a real sugar cone and the inside of the scoop of ice cream is a hidden goodie - I made Rice Krispie balls and used one for the base and covered it with fondant (a trick I learned from watching Ace of Cakes)!

Hidden goodie inside.

I was really happy with the result and I hope who ever won this cake at the school enjoyed it! Interested to learn more? Reach me on Twitter @MissNancyC or email me: nceresia@rogers.com. As always, share the link and your comments below.

Thanks for visiting!

Ione's chocolate and bubblegum room

To say I had a vision would be putting it mildly. I knew what I wanted to do for my second child's room almost as soon as she was born but putting that plan into action took about two years. Finally, I am happy to say, these photos were taken upon it's (more or less) completion. Are we ever really done with anything?

The inspiration

The jumping off point for me was that pink dot pattern. It's on a rich chocolate background, and it was love at first sight. The rest of the fabrics were bought on various visits to the fabric store. I just picked up pieces here and there that I felt would work well with the palette and patterns that would be the main focal point such as the curtains.

The fabric that was the inspiration for the room.

The walls
While I knew I loved the pink, I thought it would be overkill and let's be honest, intolerable to drench all four walls in it. I opted to use the brown as the base but again, felt that such a dark colour might really shrink the room and rather than feeling cozy, it would feel dark and depressing.

Being a new build home, the bedrooms were very basic in terms of style or features. Aside from a large window, it was featureless and I wanted to add some type of detail that would add a bit of character to such a generic space. My husband and I always loved the look of paneling and wainscotting so that's the direction we took. It also solved the problem of how to use the chocolate brown colour without making the room too dark. Here is a photo of the completed room, showing how we treated the walls.

Wall colour is Rockeries Brown in Aura Benjamin Moore paint.

As a side note on the paint colour, I initially thought another colour charmingly named Hot Chocolate would be perfect, but once up on the walls, it looked wrong and wasn't the right base (it was warm red) to match the chocolate background of the pink dot fabric. I purchased 4 different sample pots of brown to be sure before settling on one and I am so glad I did. Not only did I end up with a colour I love, it saved a lot of money. The Aura line of paint by Benjamin Moore is simply the best and worth every penny, though I wouldn't want to have to find the right shade the hard (and costly way).

The furniture
The furniture was relatively straightforward. The bed was a hand-me down Ikea special. I love this bed for the amazing storage it offers. I keep toys and out-of-season clothing in the drawers. The frame also slides out to create another sleeping surface, sort of like a trundle bed.

The beautiful dresser is another hand-me-down but one that I received from my grandmother's house. I grew up knowing the dresser in the 'kids' room in my grandparents' home so I'm comforted to have it now in my own child's room. It makes me smile every time I see it.

The gorgeous drawer pull on the dresser from grandma's house.

 The details
 With the paint selected, fabric chosen, I made and hung the curtains, embellished with some coordinating ribbon. This was easy to do using hemming tape and an iron (aka my secret weapon for DIY "sewing" projects!).

Custom curtains: ribbon + hem tape + iron.

I also bought inexpensive painting canvases to create my own artwork that would reflect the colours and theme of the room. I did a wash in the background, watering down pink and brown acrylic paint to make a runny paint mixture. On top, I painted surreal landscapes and 'nature' scenes.

Using simple shapes, you don't need to be an artist to create art!

I added these whimsical modern flowers in a bare corner. They are so affordable and easy to install. Each flower has a push-pin that easily sinks into drywall without leaving a huge mark so it's easy to reposition the arrangement until you get it just right. I really like the shadows the flowers cast on the wall from the light that is positioned on the dresser below. It's really pretty at night.

Tiny flowers, big impact.

Lastly, la piece de resistance is the capiz shell chandelier. I had my eye on this but wasn't sure where I wanted to use it. Ione's room, with the dot motif, was perfect. It was a nice complement to the circular shapes in the fabric, but also delicate and shimmery. I also love the dramatic contrast of the white shells against the rich chocolate walls.

The capiz shell chandelier sets off my favourite part of the room.

The chandelier sets off my favourite part of the room: the reading corner. I knew we would spend hours and each night before bed snuggled up here...and we do!

Our cozy corner!

Thanks for visiting and reading! Please leave comments and share the article with friends.

Sometimes the hardest part of parenting is stepping aside

Today I had the chance to make my daughter super-duper happy but I was torn about it. Why? Not because I wasn't sure I wanted her to be happy. And it wasn't because I was having second thoughts or misgivings about giving this particular thing to her that I knew she wanted coveted. It was because I wanted to be the one to make her happy. I wanted to be the one to swoop in and give something to her I knew her little heart would love. Needless to say, in the end, I was not in the position to get it for her, but someone else was, and though it hurt me to do so, I stepped aside because I knew that in the end what mattered most was her happiness. Sometimes being a good parent really sucks.

Life from the other side of 35

So I've had a week to get used to the idea that I'm 35. There. I said it. For some people, I'm sure your reaction is something along the lines of, "So what? It's just a number." Well a week ago, heck, even a year ago, I was dreading this horrible milestone. But it seems the lead up was worse that the actuality of being 35...at least that's what the last seven days have told me.

Here's why:

• I don't seem to care too much about being considered young. I'm happy, for the first time, to be my age because it means I'm just here, now. I'm not trying to look older to impress someone to get into a bar, and I'm not trying to be cool to satisfy my self-consciousness because I'm no longer able to identify with 20-year-olds.
• I have felt less compelled to make the effort to appear still passable for 25. If it happens, I'm sure not going to be insulted, however, I'm happy to look and more importantly, feel good for myself. Any self-improvements are purely self-motivated out of pride rather than pressure.
• I can have martinis and wine earlier in the day without appearing like a college drunk.
• I have been at life long enough to be taken seriously. At least by the people that matter, and most importantly, by me. I now take my goals and aspirations seriously, because they are an eventual reality, not just dreams.
• Life is too long or too short, depending how you want to look at it, to spend it doing something you don't like.
• The pressure is off...finally. It's a weird age; the world is no longer preoccupied with my generation. We aren't the Gen Y-ers or Millennials who are making their parents broke by living at home till they are 30 while spending 6 years in university only to graduate still not knowing what they want to do. We aren't really Generation X who are still working and building the double-income life with retirement on the horizon in 10 to 15 years. We aren't the baby boomers who are either still working to live or just learning to live without work. We are in between and I love it. Under the radar. Undetectable.
• I have to explain my behaviour far less often. Or maybe it's that I just don't care to explain my behaviour anymore. Either way, it works for me!
• My apathy works for me. I'm not being lazy, I've just decided some things like doing laundry during the weekdays or avoiding housework when it's nice out are justifiable because I've decided other things are more important, like my family and my sanity.
• I feel more comfortable with myself. I know how cheesy that reads but I'm being honest. The one thing in the past week I've noticed is that the dread of this approaching birthday milestone has been lifted, and what remains is a sort of zen-like calm and realization that things are ok, I'm ok. 
• I feel less fearful of making mistakes or worrying about how people view me. I'll make mistakes but I can learn from them, and it's not the end of the world. :-)

Now it's time to get out and enjoy the sun on this gorgeous long weekend, breakfast dishes be damned! Have a good one!

Do you have things you've learned as you got older? Please share in the comments below!

Mothers: Can we please call a truce??

This article is dedicated to the women and working moms I know who strive to make society better, one choice at a time. I've been so inspired lately by the many women I see starting their own businesses, whether they are raising kids or because they realize they want more out of their life and careers than working 9-5 for the next 30 years. For simply recognizing and admitting out loud that this rat race is not for them, this article is for you.

Can I just start by saying, "Enough already!!" A while ago I read this article on the Huffington Post about the ongoing 'mommy wars' - the supposed fight between stay-at-home moms and career moms in the (ridiculous) quest for ultimate mom supremacy. The article is titled "The Real Reason Working Moms Dislike Other Moms" and was spurred by the recent comments between the wives of U.S. politicians. One critiqued the other for 'never having worked a day in her life' while the other countered that raising 5 boys was work enough, thank you very much.

The article was written by a man, and I only mention this because he wrote a very good and balanced article on the topic - something that, in my opinion has been clearly missing from the conversation (I refuse to call it a debate). Clearly he is tired of observing one camp lobbing insults at the other, and wanted to diffuse the situation by discussing both sides of the so-called mommy war.

Now let's get something straight first off - the fact that I am referring to 'sides' doesn't mean that I agree or even acknowledge that there is a mommy-war. Maybe that is more prevalent in the U.S. or in circles that I don't socialize in, however, the only references I've heard to a mommy-war seem to be media driven, so I'm not entirely sure such a 'war' exists. But I digress...



The author, Rick Newman, discusses the undeniable tension that arises when the conversation turns to working versus staying at home with the kids. I'm not sure that I've personally ever witnessed this tension myself or seen a debate on the topic but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't envious of the moms I hear of that either work part-time, work from home or stay at home. And I don't think I'm alone. I've recently had many conversations with mothers and ALL of them result in the same conclusion: wanting to spend more time raising our children AND having a career. Unfortunately though, by the time we realize that this is what we want rather than returning to work full-time, most of us have already built a life on two incomes and can't find a way around it when the reality of going back to work slaps us in the face.


It is for that reason that I almost curse the feminists of the '60s. This may seem like a harsh statement but here's my reasoning. Those feminists who fought for women to be accepted working outside the home in a 'man's world' turned into the full-time working women of the 70s. The mold was then formed for other modern women to follow in their footsteps because 'times have changed' and so, they got jobs and raised the next generation of women and mothers to think this is the way life is and should be, afterall they fought for that standard of living. And so, the feminism of the '60s seemed to manifest itself in one of the most tangible ways possible - by women being accepted into a social structure that was built around the life of men as the bread winners - where that was their only role. (And this structure I'm referring to was already around for decades by this point. We're talking a structure that was established in a post-industrial revolution society where the work week was structured to limit people to ONLY work 5 or 6 days per week, 8 hours per day so that workers weren't taken advantage of - and it's been that way ever since).

The problem with this structure is two-fold: it was designed for a world that didn't exist any longer in the 1970s, let alone now; and it was designed around workers who for the most part, didn't have to raise children and run the house as well as work full-time. Now fast forward to our society where technology has made our productivity soar yet, we are still mostly confined to very rigid job structures that, in our lifetime, no longer reflect necessity.


After being raised to believe girls can accomplish anything and watch our mothers become educated and hold full-time jobs, most of the women I speak to enjoy striving to learn and have a career. The trouble is, society isn't structured to support a balance with the roles of mother and career woman. Instead, we are supposed to do more with less time, and the only time we discuss ever managing more efficiently is our after work time. I find this archaic and completely ridiculously out-dated. We can do so much more with our time, it's a shame that for the majority, the structure of the work week hasn't evolved with our productivity.

And feminists, like the author interviewed in this Globe and Mail article, who are shuddering at the thought of women voluntarily taking themselves out of the workforce: chill out. This isn't putting women's rights back 40 years either, as this book claims. If anything, it's about being progressive and demanding a change in the way society is structured. If that means removing yourself from the 'traditional' structure of work because you want to dedicate more of your time to raising your family, so be it. Look at the huge jump of women and 'mompreneurs' in the past decade who have started their own business. It's not a coincidence; it's a sign of the times, and a sign that a revolution has already begun.


Maybe the notion I am supporting in this article will be criticized for 'wanting it all', but I think that as a society, we have changed. It's not such an unrealistic expectation for the way we live to change from one generation to the next. It has happened almost every generation before us - why do we need to keep the status quo?

I am not afraid to say that I do want it all! It's not selfish or putting me ahead of the kids and family. It's about redefining the role of a women as both a mother and wife and working member of society. I know that I would not only be a happier person, but this would translate into a happier mom and wife and family life, and by extension, a more productive contributor to society.

Instead of struggling to keep up during the week, only to be exhausted at the end of the night, have barely enough time let alone energy to spend quality time with my husband, I would have the mundane taken care of while spending more time with the kids AND bringing in money because I know I can be productive given certain windows of the day that work best for my schedule. Come the weekend, as a family we could use those cherished two days to do more than playing laundry catch-up, going grocery shopping and running all over to lessons and recitals.


The bottom line is, whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom, we each want a bit of what each other has. How about we support each other by trying to find ways to push through change in the structure of employment as we know it, so that we work towards a common goal rather than taking sides and arguing about which choice is best? Tell ring yoyour employer duur next review that you have feedback on the structure of your job. Let our opinions on this be heard whenever there is an opportunity. Write letters like this to the editors of newspapers and magazines to show how hard it is to choose. And most of all, let's cheer each other on while we push through change, knowing that for the time being, neither decision to work or stay at home is without struggle or compromise, but we are all driven by the same desire: to continuing improving the quality of life for our families and society as we raise the next generation of people.


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Friday night fun post

I've been working on a few posts but have to still mull them over and work a bit more on them before posting. In the meantime, since it's time to let your hair down for the weekend, here are a few fun pics of the cakes I have attempted and sometimes have even completed with success. I'll post more cakes on my Pinterest pinboard so check them out there too!

Movie popcorn cupcakes

I created the popcorn buckets by printing off stripes on my computer and printing off a clip art retro "Pop Corn" label. The popcorn is mini marshmallows snipped once or twice on one end to look popped corn kernels. Yellow food colouring was added to water and painted on with a brush and left to dry.

Moshi Monster cupcakes

These were made recently for my daughter's 10th birthday. Her and her friends play Moshi Monsters online and collect these little guys, so I thought her girlfriends would like picking out their favourite characters to eat! We (my usual cake decorating and birthday party crew: my husband and my sister) hand modeled the Moshlings out of Duff Goldman's pre-made buttercream fondant - far and away the best premade fondant to work with (and eat too)!

It's DJ Lance, DJ Lance, DJ Lance Rock!

I did not bake this cake, but I did scrape off the tacky store icing and replace it with this Ode to DJ Lance Rock of Yo Gabba Gabba! - my daughter's favourite show (and one of my favourites too). Who can resist a grown man in an orange jumper with fun fur orange hat to match?

Sunday night musings

So another weekend has come and gone and here I am on Sunday night, trying to make the most of the final few of the forty-eight hours we are given to recuperate for another week. But instead of indulging my ego and drinking a bottle of red wine to avoid thinking of Monday morning, I'm drinking wine and using this time to be productive and nurture my goals and think about what I'm going to do this week to work towards my dreams (that is to be a published writer and contributor to whoever will have me!).

Seriously though, I'm tired of feeling defeated on Sunday night because somehow, over the weekend, my goals and dreams didn't materialize in time for the alarm on Monday morning. Maybe this change in attitude is partially due to a fantastic dinner I had with a dear friend whom I've known for now more than half of my life. We were catching up after not seeing each other since January (an issue deserving of its own post), talking about our lives and what we want to be doing and it became so obvious that despite our dreams and possessing the abilities to achieve those dreams, we hold ourselves back, self-sabotage and procrastinate, all while watching other people with less experience or skill succeed.

It got me thinking about something I think we overlook on a daily basis - how important it is to encourage each other to pursue our dreams. I will be the first to admit, that until recently if I saw someone, especially another woman, who was successful and appeared to have what I wanted, I was so jealous. That jealousy manifested itself into hostility often towards people I barely knew. It was as if I was looking at life like there was a finite amount of success to go around and each time I saw someone else who appeared to have it, it somehow lessened my chances of succeeding. It's embarrassing to admit and is petty and completely unproductive. What I should have focused on was drawing on their experience and learning about how they achieved their success. My sister gave me a proverbial kick in the pants this past week in that regard, pointing out how ridiculous it is not to learn from the people I have around me for fear of looking like I don't know what I'm doing. As she said, people are usually pretty happy to discuss their own success, so after this post is done, I'm going to take her advice and send an email to someone who has achieved what appears to be success I would like to replicate.

The bottom line: We need to believe in ourselves but we also need to know others believe in us too. Having girlfriends and family who follow up (read: stalk you) and make sure that you are actively working on your goals (read: not procrastinating) is essential to succeed. I recently had my husband, my sister and my cousin all asking me about my progress on finishing an article I had been working on for two months. They were interested in knowing how I was doing, but more importantly, knew that eventually, I would tire of hearing myself make excuses for why I hadn't finished. (I am happy to say, I've finally finished the article and sent it to the travel editor at the Globe and Mail last week. While it would be nice to be published, I'm just so happy and extremely proud of the finished article regardless of if it ends up in the paper or not).

So now I am returning the favour. I've promised my dear friend with whom I dined on Friday night, that I will haunt her via text message, checking in to see if she set aside time to work on her business plan for a business that is almost undoubtedly going to succeed. You know who you are and I'm coming to get you! As a very smart man once said to me, you owe it to yourself to do this.

Worst shopping 'helper' EVER!

I was poking around the mall over lunch hour today, thinking of places to go to find a dressy pair of dark jeans - something that I can get away with wearing to work without looking like I'm wearing jeans. I am, coincidentally as you will see, wearing my most hated and unflattering pants. I also realize when contemplating which stores to visit that I am steering clear of Banana Republic. Now that I thought about it, I had been doing this the last few times I had been to the mall and today it dawned on me why.

About a month ago, I was feeling particularly frumpy. On that particular day, I was rocking the same pair of frumpy pants that, to be fair, only looked that way because I had lost some weight. Definitely not a bad problem to have, however, frumpy is frumpy and you cannot feel your best knowing that you look like you borrowed your granny's slacks. On that day, I decided to go to Banana Republic and check out their lovely, pretty things. They have a knack for parting me with my money and felt that this visit would be no different.

Now, being petite, I should also say that there are few stores that have clothes that fit proportionately well for short people. BR is one of the few so I was happy to spot a few options as I walked in. What I was not happy to find was the sales associate. She was obviously trained to help customers by finding the correct fit for their body type, however, I am sure there are no customers who would have appreciated her approach to accomplishing this task. Keeping in mind that I was already feeling dumpy in my frumpy-frump pants, she asks me to open my coat to 'see my shape'. I've never been ask this request, at least not before 9 pm and definitely not in such a well-lit locale. Taken aback, I slowly and obediently opened my coat to reveal 'my shape'. I've never felt so exposed! It was awful. I was in there because I already felt crappy, the last thing I wanted was to have someone scrutinizing my appearance. Ugh. Just give me the damn pants, woman!

Little Miss Helpful selected not only the cut and fit she thought best, but also provided her best guess at my size - yet another blow. As I said, the reason I was in here was because my pants were too big (yay), yet she was not asking my size but rather, sizing me up (boo)!

Needless to say, I left without buying anything, and until today, didn't realize that I had been avoiding going back there, lest I be 'examined' again. Humourous in retrospect for sure, the experience reinforces my rule that one should dress up just a tad when heading out for new threads so you feel pretty good about yourself before undoubtedly sporting some hellish wardrobe selections. Or we should at leat be prepared tell such helpful sales people to beat it!

When you're in it, you're in it

When you're in it, you're in it. It's hard to see around it. A rut. A funk. The dumps. What ever you call it, when that's where you are, that's all you can see. I'm in it right now. Actually, I'm on my way back out. But still not totally out yet.

What am I rambling about? Not being able to see the forest for the trees, but even more significant, not being able to imagine ever seeing, being, living, feeling anything differently than I am right now. And I can't really remember it being any other way before either. Like I said, when you're in it, you're really frigging in it.

Maybe it's this time of year...the cusp of spring, the beginning of new life. We aren't there yet, but it's coming and we feel it's imminence in the air, in the longer days and warmer sun. I feel anticipation and anxiousness, but mostly, I feel change is around the corner. I know come summer, when I go through my 'New Year's' phase, I don't want to be in the same spot I was last year. Not that it was bad. It wasn't. It's just not what I want. So I write. I write and think. I write and plan. And then I write some more. Like my husband says, it's like throwing spaghetti at a wall; sooner or later something is bound to stick. So I persist. I hope I have something to show for it soon.