Worst shopping 'helper' EVER!

I was poking around the mall over lunch hour today, thinking of places to go to find a dressy pair of dark jeans - something that I can get away with wearing to work without looking like I'm wearing jeans. I am, coincidentally as you will see, wearing my most hated and unflattering pants. I also realize when contemplating which stores to visit that I am steering clear of Banana Republic. Now that I thought about it, I had been doing this the last few times I had been to the mall and today it dawned on me why.

About a month ago, I was feeling particularly frumpy. On that particular day, I was rocking the same pair of frumpy pants that, to be fair, only looked that way because I had lost some weight. Definitely not a bad problem to have, however, frumpy is frumpy and you cannot feel your best knowing that you look like you borrowed your granny's slacks. On that day, I decided to go to Banana Republic and check out their lovely, pretty things. They have a knack for parting me with my money and felt that this visit would be no different.

Now, being petite, I should also say that there are few stores that have clothes that fit proportionately well for short people. BR is one of the few so I was happy to spot a few options as I walked in. What I was not happy to find was the sales associate. She was obviously trained to help customers by finding the correct fit for their body type, however, I am sure there are no customers who would have appreciated her approach to accomplishing this task. Keeping in mind that I was already feeling dumpy in my frumpy-frump pants, she asks me to open my coat to 'see my shape'. I've never been ask this request, at least not before 9 pm and definitely not in such a well-lit locale. Taken aback, I slowly and obediently opened my coat to reveal 'my shape'. I've never felt so exposed! It was awful. I was in there because I already felt crappy, the last thing I wanted was to have someone scrutinizing my appearance. Ugh. Just give me the damn pants, woman!

Little Miss Helpful selected not only the cut and fit she thought best, but also provided her best guess at my size - yet another blow. As I said, the reason I was in here was because my pants were too big (yay), yet she was not asking my size but rather, sizing me up (boo)!

Needless to say, I left without buying anything, and until today, didn't realize that I had been avoiding going back there, lest I be 'examined' again. Humourous in retrospect for sure, the experience reinforces my rule that one should dress up just a tad when heading out for new threads so you feel pretty good about yourself before undoubtedly sporting some hellish wardrobe selections. Or we should at leat be prepared tell such helpful sales people to beat it!

Yesterday I had a terrifying experience

Anyone who knows me would wonder: What could have possibly happened for Nancy to have such a bad time in a place where she feels so at home? It wasn’t so much what I saw. It was how it made me feel.

In a place where I have been known to literally spend hours (sometimes without buying a thing!), I felt like I had landed on another planet and emerged in some strange and foreign place. For the first time since taking an interest in my appearance when I was 10 years old, I was confused and unfamiliar with the landscape before me.

As I navigated the racks of clothing, I struggled to push out the taunting voice of insecurity telling me that this was it: I’m too old to “get” these style and I have no business shopping in this store because I don’t look like I used to! Gasp. It’s not like I had walked into Hollister or American Eagle. I was in age-appropriate stores yet, I felt like I was stumbling through a house of mirrors.

Out of this harrowing experience came the realization that, yes, I would have to relearn how to dress myself. It’s frightening but somewhere along the way I had fallen off the fashionista bus. What once came with such ease was now a struggle! I was dismayed and defeated. That night I did what brings me a Zen vibe on a bad day: I visited my favourite online stores for some eye candy and studied the outfits they put together.

Not only did this help me relax, but it was also a great refresher. Looking at complete outfits, I was able to examine at how the overall look was pulled together by identifying the formulas for pairing certain styles and shapes together. For example, slim fitting bottoms need to be paired with a loose, flowy top.

Then I had an idea. Why not create a shopping cheat-sheet? It’s easy to get discouraged or distracted (or both) while in stores, so making notes (like categorizing styles and noting what they pair well with, as well as what would suit my size and shape) would help me stay on track and avoid having a perfectly wondering shopping trip ruined by frustration or self-doubt. And I am not ashamed to say that I plan to take this cheat-sheet with me when I venture out next. If I need it, I have it.

It was hard to admit that dressing myself doesn’t come as easy as it once did. The reality is I don’t want to spend hours coordinating outfits. I do however, want to feel pulled together (hey, at least I can give the appearance of having myself together!). So my next few posts will chronicle this adventure. I’ll show how I do my research, I’ll share tips for categorizing clothing, picking the best pieces for your body and budget, and help you prepare your own little cheat-sheet, and I’ll give updates on my progress as I learn to dress myself again. Yay!