Sometimes I just feel like taking the roof off of my house and turning it upside down, giving it a good shake to start over. Like a guest that has outlasted his welcome, I want to get rid of the stuff that just seems to linger, hanging on and sucking the Zen out of me. It collects like dust bunnies (we have those too) in corners, on surfaces, in cabinets and on benches….anywhere there is a surface, there is stuff.
Then I look at my beloved design magazines. At this time of
the year especially the focus is on renewal and I find myself pining for the
minimalist kitchens where there is nary a crumb on the serene white counter
top, the seamlessness of the cupboards and lack of clutter on the counters a
respite for my tired eyes that have no calm place to rest in my house. The BIG
question? How do I get from here to there?
Then reality kicks in. I do a quick assessment and remember
the following:
·
- We have kids.
- We have a dog and a cat, a turtle, two frogs and two fish.
- We have kids who have friends.
- It is winter in Canada: the most notoriously messy time of the year.
- I have attachment issues. I feel bad throwing stuff away. I blame my eco-minded teen years when I visualized anything I threw out sitting in landfills for the next 3 generations.
- I put things off. I would rather sit and watch a show and have a glass of wine than clear the perpetual clutter on the kitchen island. Even if I attempted it, I am not sure what to do with the ‘stuff’ anyways.
So there you have it. Clearly our family lifestyle and the
fact that we are human beings are working against me. The trick then, is to
find ways to fit that cleaner vision I have into our current lifestyle. For me,
that means hiding messes from sight with ease. Purchasing organizational
furniture and accessories is the easy part. The hard part is changing attitudes
and behavior.
Case in point, I know I am a hoarder. I punctuate my
cleaning by muttering ‘what if’ and ‘maybe I’ll need this later’, all the while
fighting the growing ball of anxiety in my stomach. It’s a feeling that takes
me back to childhood: your parent comes to vacuum your room but you have left
some Barbie shoes strewn on the carpet. You know the scene. Panicked, you
frantically race to the bedroom to pick up the microscopic footwear as Mom or
Dad issues their final warning before “going in” and sucking it all up. Parting
with ‘my stuff’ is a deeply-rooted security thing and the fact that it’s a
psychological issue is not lost on me.
So then the question is no longer ‘Why am I like this?” but
rather “How do I work around my idiosyncrasies”? What is the work-around for
imbedded attachment issues? If I’m to be honest with you and myself, I realize
that moreso than buying organizing magazines and snazzy file folders, I must
actually make decisions and stick with them. Stop wavering, himming and hawing,
and ultimately stop myself from going down the ‘Path of Second Thoughts’ when
it comes to sorting and throwing out.
Now, whether or not I can actually do it is another thing
altogether. Here are my steps for how to get started (don’t get me wrong –
these are as much for me as for everyone else reading):
- Start small. Biting off more than you can chew is only going to make things more of a challenge. It’s better to feel that you completed a task with ease and success rather than leave things a worse mess than when you started. Example. I want to reorganize my whole kitchen. Reality check: I will start with one cupboard or clutter corner.
- Take a breath. When that anxiety ball creeps up, stop and ask what is really at stake by parting with X. Is it really worth the anxiety it is causing or is that more of an automatic reaction? Nip it in the bud!
- Remove EVERYTHING and work backwards. By clearing the space immediately, and then only putting back what you really want, you are likely to add less than if you started clearing out from a full space. Seeing the empty space right away is invigorating and will make parting with things easier because the end result is right in front of you. It can also allow room for more creative solutions to come through, helping the overall process. Clean slate, clean mind!
So there you have it. Wish me luck! Updates to follow. In
the meantime, because it is necessary to have a place to put things, see my
favourite recommended organizing products by visiting pinterest boards!
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